Frowner's here... How's your day? I know life is hard.. Btw, i haven't introduce myself but i know u already know me right... Yess, i'm the "devil" side of Anis Rahmantika... By being "devil" life is more fun..
U know u love me.......XOXO
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Introducing Smiler
Hey, i'm Smiler..
This is the first time i show up into public.. I wish i could cheer up the world and made this world more colourful.. I'm actually the "angel" side of Anis Rahmantika.. I promise i'll show u my picture on the next post... XOXO
This is the first time i show up into public.. I wish i could cheer up the world and made this world more colourful.. I'm actually the "angel" side of Anis Rahmantika.. I promise i'll show u my picture on the next post... XOXO
Friday, 24 April 2009
Finally It's done
Finally we've done the National Exam... It feels great & sooooooo glad, and on the last day we decided to relax, have fun & flee...
These are the faces after UN, from left to right : Andhita, Ayu, Envira, Myself and Gina
Ooooooopsie.... Sorry Andhita you're out. Lol!!!!!!!
Ooooooopsie.... Sorry Andhita you're out. Lol!!!!!!!
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Get Closer
Olla everyone!!!!!!
For all of u fellas the 12th grader we're getting closer to the NATIONAL EXAM... How's your preparation? Never thought that time could run as fast as this, seems like yesterday i just had my first footstep on SMAN DOETA..
I'm gonna miss this high..
Gotta sleep now, XOXO.............
For all of u fellas the 12th grader we're getting closer to the NATIONAL EXAM... How's your preparation? Never thought that time could run as fast as this, seems like yesterday i just had my first footstep on SMAN DOETA..
I'm gonna miss this high..
Gotta sleep now, XOXO.............
Quote of the day
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worth while. So when you are lonely, remember it's true Somebody somewhere is thinking of you.
Unknown Author
Love Quote
It takes a minute to like someone, and hour to love someone, but to forget someone takes a life time.
Unknown Author
Thursday, 9 April 2009
The last words
It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.
I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain would go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide.
But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years' feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her.
I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words
I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain would go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide.
But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years' feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her.
I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words
Friday, 3 April 2009
I heart Strawberry
It's red, cute and sooooooooooooo fresh.... How I really love strawberry..
Like the beatles said
Strawberry fields forever
"Let me take you down
cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever
Strawberry fields forever
strawberry fields forever "
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Emotions test
Do you have a healthy attitude towards your emotions?
For your every 'no' answer, add 1 to your score.
- Do you feel guilty if you cry in public?
- Do you think crying is a sign of weakness?
- Do you think men and boys should be encouraged to hide their tears?
- Do you feel embarrassed if you find yourself crying while watching a film or reading a book?
- Would you try to hold back your tears if you were attending a funeral?
- Would you distrust a politician who shed tears in public?
- Do you think that tears are an unnecessary expression of emotion?
- Do you always try to hide your disappointment?
- Do you get embarrassed if you see grown men crying?
- Would you pretend that you had something in your eyes if you were unexpectedly discovered crying?
- Do you always try to hide your anger?
For your every 'yes' answer, add 1 to your score
- Do you tend to brood about things which make you angry?
- Does your temper even get out of control?
- Has your temper even got you in trouble?
- Do you believe that it does you good to get rid of your anger?
- Would you allow someone to comfort you if you were crying?
- Do you get cross quite easily?
- Do you touch someone you love at least once a day?
- Do you enjoy physical signs of affection?
- Do you ever get broody when you see small babies?
- Would you happily hold hands in public with someone you cared for?
- Do you enjoy being massaged?
- Do you regularly tell those whom you love how you feel?
- Have you ever had a pet of which you were very fond?
- Do you enjoy being kissed and hugged by people you love?
- Do you ever laugh out loud when you are watching funny films?
- Do you ever tap your feet while listening to Music?
- Do you often have the last clap at concerts, sports events and the like?
- Do you ever shout encouragement to sports or TV heroes?
- Can you remember when you last really laughed and enjoyed yourself?
Score 17 to 30
Your attitude towards your emotions is a healthy one. You aren't ashamed to let your emotions show occasionally, and you will undoubtedly be much healthier because of this attitude. You are likely to be a good social advisor.Score 8 to 16
You know how to let your emotions show but you still find it difficult to do so as often as you should. You should be prepared to let your emotions out more often. When you feel sad let yourself cry, when you feel angry, let your anger show, when you feel happy allow a smile to cross your face. Allowing your emotions out in this way will do wonders to your physical and mental health.Score 7 or less
You are definitely very uptight. You really do need to allow your emotions flow out a little. There isn't any thing really wrong in allowing people to know how you feel.
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